Grief expert David Kessler once said, “Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed.” For the past 12 years, Michigan State University has provided a space for Spartan families to express their grief, honor their loved ones and share memories through the annual Student Memorial Tribute. The ceremony brings together students, families, faculty and staff to share a space to mourn. This year’s Student Memorial Tribute was held July 17, at 2:30–4 p.m., at the MSU Horticulture Gardens. 

Rooted in Remembrance

The Student Memorial Tribute features performances by the student a cappella group, a harpist, bagpipers, trumpeters playing taps, speeches by university leaders and spiritual reflections. Families gather after for a private reception to share stories, photos and memories. 

Attendees visit a native Michigan tree planted each year somewhere on campus, honoring the students who have died. A plaque near the tree lists their names alongside the phrase “Always a Spartan” and a Spartan helmet. MSU also sends each family a sapling from the tree and a Spartan flag as a symbol of connection and support.

Assistant Vice President for Student Development and Leadership and Dean of Students Allyn Shaw organizes the tribute each year.

“By honoring our students, we can honor their families and help them realize MSU is more than a physical location but a community here to assist and appreciate each other,” said Dr. Shaw.

He noted the loss of a Spartan not only affects students but faculty, staff and the greater community. 

“They were creating lives at MSU and adding knowledge to the community that’s here,” Dr. Shaw said. “They will always be part of Michigan State University. They will always be a Spartan.”

Turning Loss Into Legacy

Daniel Renzulli was a freshman studying mechanical engineering at MSU when he died in a tragic plane crash with his father, Peter Renzulli, in 2018. His mother, Lori Renzulli remembers Daniel for his kindness, generosity and ability to make everyone feel seen. As a member of Alpha Sigma Phi fraternity, he became known as the grill master, sharing pizza, cookies, joy and laughter with everyone. 

Daniel left an impact wherever he went. Professors, students and friends said people naturally gravitated toward him. His positivity and way he carried himself gave others the confidence to open up, create friendships and uplift one another. 

“Daniel was a kind and thoughtful boy. He was a natural leader whether he was cheering on his hockey team, organizing games at camp or cheerfully volunteering to be the tailgate grill master,” his mother shared. “He used his leadership abilities, energy, passion, good nature and positive attitude to spread joy to as many people as possible. He was a connector who made it his personal mission to help everyone and make them smile.”

To honor Daniel and Peter’s memory, the Renzulli family created an endowment fund to support capstone projects for nonprofit organizations. Built on investment earnings, the fund is designed to last forever, tethering the Renzulli family to the university. The family hopes the fund inspires students who share Daniel and Peter’s compassion, advocacy and thoughtfulness to make a difference in the world. 

Renzulli describes MSU in one word: compassion. After the sudden loss of her husband and son, she said she met with extraordinary kindness and care from Dr. Shaw and Abby Waller, an MSU Counseling & Psychiatric Services counselor, who ensured grieving families like hers were not forgotten. Their support created a community for those who’ve experienced similar loss.

MSU also honored Daniel with a certificate of recognition marking his progress toward a Bachelor of Science degree. That gesture, Renzulli said, meant a lot, as it recognized Daniel’s place in the Spartan community. 

“The memorial made me feel like part of a community,” said Renzulli. “The fact the student tribute exists is an indication the university cares about all of its students, including the ones who pass before they have the opportunity to finish their education.”

Since then, Renzulli has found comfort in visiting the memorial tree planted behind the Kresge Art Center and the bench dedicated to Daniel next to the memorial tree. These are spaces where friends and family can gather, reflect and feel close to him. She celebrated the bench’s installation with Daniel’s fraternity brothers and his sister Meredith, toasting him with a bottle of whiskey that was purchased years ago and meant to be opened on his 21st birthday. These gestures of remembrance ensure Daniel remains a part of the MSU story, now and always.

A Brilliant Mind, A Tender Soul

From a young age, Jarek Troyer stood out for his brilliance. He devoured books well beyond his years, used complex vocabulary and completed computer and business courses before college. Troyer was a junior studying computer science at MSU. He helped design logos for Spartan Hack and worked for MSU IT creating online campus maps.

Jarek also faced significant challenges. As a student on the autism spectrum living with ADHD and depression, he struggled to adjust to life at MSU. The deaths of his father and grandmother, combined with difficult living situations and academic pressures became too heavy to carry. Jarek died by suicide in 2020.

His mother, Marilyn Troyer, shares Jarek’s story to raise awareness and inspire families, faculty and staff to create a more inclusive environment for students on the spectrum. She advocates for mental health resources, inclusive housing and stronger community building opportunities for autistic students. Above all, she wants Jarek’s life to remind others of the importance of connection, understanding and support. 

Troyer appreciated the Student Memorial Ceremony’s openness to extended family, friends and community members. As a widow whose children live out of state, she said it meant a lot that the service welcomed all who wished to honor and support grieving families. She valued the livestream so her children could be included.

“The memorial is very nice and very thoughtful,” said Troyer. “I feel Allyn went above and beyond … Allyn made sure the event was livestreamed so that Julia [her daughter] and Joey [her son] could still participate. That meant a lot to me.”

From Grief to Advocacy

Catherine Miles shares a similar story, turning her grief into advocacy after losing her daughter, Tara McMahon, a senior at MSU studying psychology. Tara was known for her energy, outgoing and larger-than-life personality. She wasn’t a fan of rules but fiercely loved her friends and family. Tara was a cheerleader, equestrian, skier and a proud member of the Delta Gamma sorority. She loved her time at the sorority house, going out with friends and taking law classes which inspired her to help others with mental health challenges, a fight she also battled. 

Behind her bright personality, Tara battled anxiety and depression. Despite seeking support, Tara died by suicide in February 2021 at 22 years old. In her journals, she hoped her story would help others who are facing similar struggles. Honoring that wish, Miles created a memorial fund through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to support mental health research and awareness. 

To Miles, MSU represents caring. Despite the university’s size, she received a call from MSU within 48 hours of Tara’s death and later on an honorary diploma. She said it showed her the university truly cares, every student matters and her daughter wasn’t just a number. With help from MSU, Miles installed a teal bench in front of the MSU Library. It honors Tara with the CAPS crisis number engraved on the back to offer support for anyone in need. 

“It means a lot when they use that phrase, ‘Always a Spartan’,” said Miles. “It just makes you feel better even though they didn’t walk across the stage and get their diploma, they can always be a Spartan. They still matter and are still part of the university. It shows they were important.”

By sharing their stories, Tara and Jarek’s parents hope to shine a light on mental health awareness and the importance of support systems. By sharing their children’s lives with honesty and love, their parents aim to break the silence around mental illness, encourage those who are struggling to seek help and remind others they are not alone. Through grieving, remembrance and advocacy, Jarek and Tara’s legacies live on in the Spartan community.  

When We Speak, We Heal

Losing a child is a form of traumatic grief. It’s an unnatural loss that can be difficult to put into words. Recognizing the unique pain grieving families face, Dr. Shaw partnered with Waller to create a space for connection and healing. Together, they launched virtual support groups throughout the year, offering parents a space to mourn, share resources and feel less alone. It was through these sessions Renzulli, Troyer and Miles found each other and their strength. 

Grief is often isolating. Many assume grievers need space. However, healing happens while connecting with others, making support groups a powerful tool. They offer both companionship and understanding. 

Waller emphasizes the importance of distinguishing the difference between grief and mourning. Grief is internal, the thoughts and feelings that occur after a loved one dies. However, mourning is the outward expression of grief through memorials, funerals, journaling, etc. Both are essential. True healing requires the courage to feel deeply and the strength to share that pain with others.

Supporting someone who is grieving starts with acknowledging your own discomfort. Offer practical help, listen without judgment, sit in silence, acknowledge the loss, stay in touch and be kind. 

“People heal by kindness and being reassured the world is safe and predictable again. We heal as humans in community and having safe meaningful interactions with others,” said Waller. 

She recommends GrieveWell, an Ann-Arbor-based nonprofit that promotes healthy grieving and healing. They provide peer-to-peer support programs, matching individuals with others who’ve experienced a similar loss. They also host grief webinars, accessible to anyone around the world. 

A Promise To Remember

The stories of Daniel, Jarek and Tara are unique but bound by the lives they touched. These Spartans left their mark on MSU and the people who loved them. Their families continue to honor their legacy through advocacy, remembrance and returning to campus to honor the Spartans who left too soon. 

The Student Memorial Tribute is more than a ceremony — it’s a promise. A promise that no Spartan will ever be forgotten, no matter how long or short their time on campus. It’s a space to mourn, where healing begins and every tree, bench or diploma becomes a testament to a life lived. 

In songs, ceremonies and shared stories, MSU honors what it means to be a Spartan. We grieve together, we remember and carry one another forward because at Michigan State, “once a Spartan” truly means “always a Spartan.” 

View the student memorial tree map here. 

For additional information visit sle.msu.edu/student-memorials.

Author: Olivia Williams, communications assistant